By Natalia McPhedran
Ever have a show-off in your house? Has your child ever had a friend over who hogs all their decisions and decides 
what they’re going to play, and you wish you could stomp over and tell him that he’s not the boss? (I know you have)
Let’s talk attitudes— shall we? While our children are toddlers, we put a lot of focus on teaching them how to make friends (smile, introduce yourself, listen) but do your children know what attitudes can cause them to lose friends?
Eliminating these 5 attitudes from your child’s repertoire will help her or him attract friends rather than pushing them away!
- The Complainers: These are the people who are always whining, being negative and looking for attention by crying over every little thing and get upset with the smallest little things. Don’t say things like this: I’m bored; It hurts right here; So and so isn’t nice; It’s too hard; No one wants to play with meeeeeeeeeeeee; You guys are boring, I’m outa here. * People have enough of their own problems. Don’t bring other people down with yours. Nobody wants to hear it!
- The Over-doers: Oh, those guys… They’re the people who want SO MUCH to be our friend that they become invasive. For example, they call us 22 times a day, enter into our little bubble, talk to us non-stop or refuse that we speak to anyone but them. * Give your friends space. Let them breath. Let them have other friends too. They are not your possession.
- The Stars (Show-Offs): These people brag and brag and brag. They want to WOW everybody and show the world how awesome they are. They talk about themselves and about what they have too much and too loudly and they want to “hog the spotlight” all the time. They feel the need to let everybody know about the trips they’ve taken, the name brands they own, and monopolize every conversation. Most of which are embellished.* Be humble. If you are lucky enough to have what you have, be grateful. When you brag about what you have, you could be making someone else feel badly because they don’t have it. We are not here to make people feel bad. The world needs more gracious people. It’s always better if your friends discover what you have by chance, not by your braggy little mouth.
- The Rottweilers: These people get angry too quickly and too often. They want to control everything, play the bullies, and hurt or cause pain to others. ie. In soccer, Sophia always has a bad attitude. She trips people to get the ball, yells at her teammates when they miss a pass, and kicks the ball with all her might when she misses a goal. When her coach tells her to go sit on the bench to cool off, she insults him and refuses to play again. Her teammates have had enough of her mood swings and wish she they would take her off the team. * Accept other people’s ideas, and make yours known too. Sometimes when you combine different perspectives, you can come up with something totally unique. Don’t ever be so narrow-minded in believing that your way is the only way.
- The Tattle-Tellers: These people are always monitoring everybody and will report everything people do that is wrong even if it doesn’t concern them. They sometimes get a kick out of seeing other people being punished. ie. Julie seems to spend all of her days watching everybody. The minute someone from class doesn’t follow a rule, she runs to tell the teacher. She does this because she thinks it’s the right thing to do and she wants her teacher to be happy with her, but she’s really just getting everybody’s backs up. * In the words of The Cat in The Hat, “NOBODY LIKES A SUCK UPPPP!”
With the occasional gentle reminders if you ever catch them going off the rails, before you know it, you’ll have stand up kids with great character and little attitude. . . until they reach the age of 15. Not there yet— obviously. But eliminating these 5 attitudes will help them navigate the Tween years for sure.
For more on these attitudes, Life Skills for the elementary years, Guidance with Technology and more, check out Natalia’s book: Life With Kids: Empowering Our Children To Be Ready For The Real World. Available at Amazon.ca.
Natalia McPhedran, Author, Coach and Speaker of Children’s Online Safety, shares strategies with parents and children that promote responsible and moderate use of electronic devices. Her main focus is to educate parents on showing their children how to stay safe on social media, and how to self regulate to avoid gaming addiction.
Visit www.nataliacoachingyou.ca for more information